I Come with Love, Not a Bill…

So here’s the gut punch…

My 20-year marriage ended because my husband simply didn’t want me anymore. Twenty years. Just… done. That kind of rejection leaves scars you don’t see but feel every single day. And while I’ve had men show interest since, there’s always this shadow that follows me—the number of kids I have. Five. Five incredible humans who came out of a love story that should have lasted forever but didn’t. And now somehow, that “5” feels like it’s stamped across my forehead like a warning label.

The Problem – The “kids = financial burden” narrative…

Recently, I thought I found something real again. We talked about the future, about not rushing things, about blending families in a way that felt safe. He knew I had kids—because I don’t hide them or apologize for them. But when push came to shove, he couldn’t handle it. Not the love, not the life, not the idea that one day he might be “financially responsible” for them.

And here’s the thing: I’ve never once asked anyone to do that. My kids have a dad. Their needs are covered. They aren’t some five-pack of debt collectors knocking on anyone’s door. But somehow, we’re still living in this outdated, dusty narrative from decades ago that says if you’re with someone who has kids, you’re suddenly the new provider.

The Truth – Who I am and what I bring…

Let me be clear: I don’t come with five extra expenses. I come with five extra hearts. Five reasons I fight harder, love deeper, and refuse to settle. I come with lived experience, grit, resilience, and a heart that—despite everything—still believes in love.

I have so much to give in a relationship. I am more than a single mom. I am a woman with passion, drive, and so much love to share. But damn if it doesn’t feel like dating with kids in 2025 is still a minefield of outdated expectations.

The Hope – For me and for them…

At the end of the day, I’m not just fighting for my own happiness. I know my kids deserve to see their mom in love again—happy, respected, cherished. They deserve to see what a healthy love looks like. They deserve to see a family unit that feels safe and whole, even if it doesn’t look “traditional.” And honestly? I deserve that too.

Because this isn’t just about surviving heartbreak. It’s about believing that love—real love—doesn’t see kids as baggage. It sees them as the bonus they’ve always been. 🖤