I Don’t Know About You, But I’m Feeling… Menopause Adjacent (42)…

Today’s my birthday. And normally, birthdays are my Super Bowl. I love them — the cake, the attention, the excuse to demand gifts wrapped in sparkly paper without shame. But this year? This year stings a little.

See, I got dumped three days ago. Nothing screams “Happy Birthday” like being handed heartbreak instead of frosting. And yes, I know I’m not unloved or worthless. I’ve done enough therapy and ugly crying into margaritas to recognize that truth. But grief has a way of whispering lies that stick — especially when the person who once promised you the moon suddenly decides they’d rather orbit somewhere else.

And on top of all that… I’m 42.

Forty. Two. It’s such an awkward age. Not old, but definitely not young. It’s like being at the world’s most confusing middle school dance where you’re not sure if you belong at the punch bowl with the chaperones or out on the floor with the kids grinding to Lil Jon.

Some of my friends are already deep into peri-menopause. Others are still popping out babies like TikToks. And me? I’m over here with stress acne (thanks, teenagers, for letting me steal your pimple patches), thinning hair that my PCOS and cortisol levels are tag-teaming against, and a clip-on topper that’s hanging on for dear life. Sexy, right?

But here’s the kicker: I’ve got teens, an eight, and a six-year-old. Which means I don’t exactly get to age gracefully — I get to age in chaos. They still (mostly) think I’m a cool mom, which keeps me from feeling ancient. Some days, though, I’m one slammed bedroom door away from Googling retirement homes just to get some peace and quiet.

So, here I am. Forty-two. A little bruised. A little bald. A little broken. But still here. Still showing up. Still hoping that this year — this messy, unpredictable, mid-life plot twist of a year — is good to me.

I may not have the moon anymore, but I still have cake, mascara, and a middle finger — and honestly, that’s enough. And If 42 wants to be a healing year, then fine. I’ll light the candles, blow them out, and say yes to that wish. Because if I’ve learned anything by now, it’s this: I may not always get the moon, but I’ll damn well find a way to shine anyway. 🖤