You Can Sit With Us: The Beautiful Chaos of Being “Too Much”

For most of my life, I was told I was too much.Too loud. Too emotional. Too opinionated.

Too “extra.”

So I did what many of us learn to do — I dimmed the light. I quieted my voice. I shrunk myself into corners I didn’t belong in, and wore silence like a second skin. I became a master of blending in, of people-pleasing, of making sure I wasn’t “too anything” for anyone.

But here I am now — a divorced mom of five (yes, five), living on my own for pretty much the first time ever, rebuilding my life one therapy session, meltdown, and margarita at a time.

And for the first time… I see me.Not the me someone else wanted. Not the edited version. The real, raw, mascara-smudged, laugh-too-loud, emotionally-overwhelmed, extra version.

And damn, she’s kind of amazing.

It turns out, being “too much” is actually just enough.

It’s okay if I like nice things I’ve worked hard for.It’s okay if I want to raise daughters who take up space in every room they enter.It’s okay if I tell them that love should never come with a silencing clause.And it’s more than okay to teach them to speak up, push back, and never apologize for taking up space.

But don’t get it twisted — I still spiral.

My anxiety will throw on its sparkly little crown and tell me I’m nothing more than the emotional equivalent of gum stuck to the bottom of someone’s shoe. And just like that, I’m curled up on the couch, hiding from the world with my 4.5-pound Yorkie, Minnie — who, I’m convinced, plots my demise daily by strategically placing my shoes on the stairs like some kind of tiny fluffy villain.

Cue the comfort TV. (Yes, I’m watching Friends again. Yes, I still quote every episode. Yes, I know exactly when Ross yells “We were on a break!”)

Anxiety is a punk. And we’ll get into that another day… I’ll need another margarita and probably some queso for that conversation.

But here’s what I know right now:Healing isn’t linear. It’s messy and loud and often covered in tears, mascara, and tiny socks you didn’t even know your kids owned.

But growth? Growth is gorgeous. It sounds a lot like Taylor Swift whisper-singing, “You’re on your own, kid… yeah, you can face this.” (And spoiler alert: you can.)

So here’s your reminder — and mine: You are enough. You’ve always been enough. Be extra. Be loud. Be bold. Be quiet when you need to. Be soft. Be fire. Be a little bit of everything.But most importantly…Be YOU. And never, ever shrink to fit someone else’s version of who you should be.

Minnie and I will be over here, tripping over feelings and flip flops — but doing it unapologetically.